The Portland Buckeyes

The fact that the German Village Oktoberfest is in September (and not in German Village) seems perfectly normal.

You beam with pride that we’re the hometown of Wendy’s, White Castle, Rax Roast Beef, & Bob Evans & Donatos, but you wonder why we’re the 8th fattest city in America

You remember very vividly City Center & Northland.

You know how to pronounce “Scioto” and “Olentangy”.

You see nothing unusual about a street being called East North Broadway.

You live in the suburbs but your backyard was actually a cornfield last year.

That complex on the corner, with the CVS, Blockbuster’s, and Kroger, was a cornfield last year, too!

As you lament the loss of all those cornfields, you see the infinite wisdom of Dublin City Council, who spent over $60,000 on a field of 10′ concrete corn ears.

You don’t even notice new buildings being built because a new building goes up every single day.

You know all the 4 seasons: Winter, Still Winter, Almost Winter, and Construction.

You drive 3 hours to see Red White & Boom for 15 minutes, & 4 hours back. But you live 10 minutes away.

You know what a real buckeye is, and have a recipe for candy ones.

You know screaming O-H anytime, anywhere, will get a reply from a stranger saying I-O!

The local paper covers national and international headlines on one page but requires 6 pages for sports.

You consider going to the zoo in winter VERY normal.

You have a buckeye necklace.

You think 45 degree weather is PERFECT for washing your car!

You call it POP. Soda is for weirdos.

You get chills when you hear ‘Carmen Ohio’.

You know Wyandot Lake is NOT a body of water, and Mad River Mountain is not really a mountain.

You say Kroger’s. It’s really Kroger.

You remember Big Bear, but now it’s gone.
You remember The Lazarus, and it’s gone too.

You can see a building downtown but you can’t get to it, due to 500 million one way streets!

Monday – 30 degrees, Tuesday – 70 degrees, Wednesday – 45 & humid, Thursday – -10 degrees wind-chill, & Friday 80 degrees & sunny is normal

One out of every 5 cars has something BUCKEYE on it.

You remember Flippo.

You remember Lucy’s Toy Shop

Your big Christmas event was visiting Santa & seeing the “windows” at Downtown Lazarus

You were surprised to learn that there is ANOTHER Hoover Dam in the country

People drive 10 mph with the first dusting of snow and 65 mph with 2 feet of snow

You know businesses close on Ohio State Football game day.

You know all the haunted places in Columbus . ( Mirror Lake, OSU Library, Palace Theater, etc.)

You know what ‘The Hospital Curve’ is.

You think the standard protocol for a tornado warning is to grab lawn chairs and head for the front porch.

You drive down 670 with your windows open to smell the fresh bread from the Wonder Bread Factory & the cinnamon rolls from the Kroger bakery.

You think there’s nothing strange about the city of Westerville being Northeast of Columbus.

You think that ‘Columbus’ always needs to be followed by ‘Ohio’.